Crack Fic 1: Spin the Bottle
by Erich Von Freidrichsburg
Summary: Hilarious Crack fic I made. Title selfexplanatory.


Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto. I'd be really lucky if I did, and there would be more Romance if I owned it.

It was a nice, sunny day in Konoha, the birds were singing, the duck's were quacking, the cow's were mooing, and...alright, that's not really how it was. It was a horrible, rainy day, the birds were hiding in their nests, the ducks were drowning themselves, and the cows WERE mooing...horrible moo's of terror at the sight of an ax, of course! And one Haruno Sakura was sitting quietly in her room, bored, along with her friends Ino, Naruto, Hinata, Gaara and Neji. Don't ask me why Gaara was there, it's for the sake of this Crack Story. And Sakura came up with a wonderful idea...spin the bottle.

Sakura: Alright, guys! I'm bored, Ino's on my computer, Naruto's sleeping, Hinata is gawking at Naruto again, Gaara is playing around with the sand in the fish tank, and Neji's reading my...WAIT! My Diary!

Neji: What?

Sakura: Your reading my diary, you bastard! How dare you!

Neji: Oh, this? I was just reading an entry from 3 days ago. Let me read it:

Sakura: Don't you DARE, Hyuga Ne-

Neji: "Dear Diary, I dreamed last night I had sex with Sasuke. In fact, it was a threesome," and at this moment, everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at Neji. "it was so magical! First Sasuke did me, then Naruto," and at that Naruto bolted up right, eyes wide in terror ", then Naruto and Sasuke did EACHOTHER!" And at this, everyone started making funny noises.

Ino: Oh, I think I'm going to puke...ugh...

Gaara: 0o

Naruto: What the...Sakura, your one sick F) !

Hinata: ...

Sakura: Hyuga Neji, I'm going to KICK YOUR $$!

Neji: And look! Here's an entry from yesterday! " I invited over a few friends for tomorrow. Ino and I are back to being best friends, but I had real trouble deciding to invite Naruto over. For the pure sake of it, I also invited Neji and Hinata over. I didn't want Neji over, because, personnaly, I think he's a creep. But he wanted to go with Hinata because it was the Branch house's duty to "protect the Main branch" or something like that. And Gaara has been crashing at my place for a few days. I also think he's a little creepy."

(everyone looks at Sakura)

Sakura: Err, heh heh, okee-dokee then, uhhh...let's play spin the bottle!

And with a little apologizing and convincing, everyone agreed.

Sakura: Alright, I'm first! (spins bottle) Alright, Naruto! Truth or Dare!

Naruto: Dare! Bring it on!

Sakura: Alright: jump like a frog and sing "I'm so pretty"!

Naruto: What! Grr...I'm so pretty! O, so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and GAY!

Everyone but Hinata: laughs 

Sakura: Alright, Neji, your turn!

Neji: (spins bottle) Alright, Gaara...truth or dare.

Gaara: Dare.

Neji: Alright then...go and Tongue-Kiss Sakura!

Gaara: What?

Neji: Go on, do it!

Gaara: sigh...(smooch)

Sakura: GAAH! I'VE BEEN KISSED BY A PSYCHO! YUCK!

Neji: (hands bottle to Hinata) Your turn, Hinata-Sama.

Hinata: (spins bottle) Uh...I-ino, truth o-or dare?

Ino: Hmm, it seems that Dare is always bad, I'll go with truth!

Hinata: O-okay...d-do y-you have a crush on S-sasuke still?

Ino: Yes, and I'm waiting for him to come back to the force! I shall save him from the Darkside!

Naruto: OOOOOOOOOOkay then...you've been watching Starwars, havn't you?

Ino: YEP! I watch it nearly every day! I've memerized all of Episode IV and V! I'm right now trying to memerize Episode VI!

Naruto: Okay, seems someone's obssesive...Ooo! It's my turn! (spins bottle) Neji! Alright, Truth or dare!

Neji: Truth.

Naruto: Do you...fantasize about any one?

Neji: Err, what do you mean?

Naruto: You know, what all men do...going in the bathroom when you really don't have to go, with thoughts of...well...women.

Neji: (sweatdrop) That's a rediculous thought! I, Hyuga Neji, would NEVER do such a VILE thing!

Naruto: Aww, come on, Neji! No one can control their hormones!

Neji: Alright...if you REALLY want to know...it's usualy...Tenten...

Naruto: What? Didn't hear you...

Neji: It's, ehh, Tenten...

(everyone laughs)

Neji: Great. Can you please continue now? I beleive it's Ino's turn.

Ino: Great! I got a good one! (spins bottle) Ooo, Neji?

Neji: Great...what?

Ino: Truth or Dare?

Neji: Dare.

Ino: Alright then...I want you to call Tenten and tell her that you...FANTASIZE ABOUT HER! (laughs so hard, falls on ground)

Neji: You have GOT to be kidding me. No way in all the 7 Hells am i going to do THAT.

Ino: Go on, do it!

Neji: sigh...(picks up phone, diles)

Phone: ring...ring...ring...Hello? Tenten hear, may I know why you're calling?

Neji: Tenten, it's, err, Neji...I'm playing a ridiculous game of spin the bottle right now, and, I, well, have to tell you something.

Tenten: Alright! So, what is it?

Neji: Err, I...Fantasizeaboutyou!

Tenten: What, I didn't hear you.

Neji: I said that I...fantasize about you...

Tenten: Well, that sure is a suprise...heh-heh, well, to tell the truth, I dream about you too! Isn't that great!

Neji: Uh, yeah, gotta go now, bye.

Tenten: Byebye, sweetheart! Love you! (hangs up)

Neji: Well, that sure was embaressing.

Sakura: Alright, Gaara, your turn!

Gaara: (spins bottle) Hmm...Hinata...

Hinata: Y-yes, Gaara-Sama?

Gaara: Well, truth or dare?

Hinata: Uhh, t-truth?

Gaara: Alright, then...if you had the chance to be trapped in a room with 1 person, who would it be and why?

Hinata: Well, uh, w-ell, t-this is kind o-of embaressing for me, but...Naruto...because, I well, I-I, uh...

(BOOM)

Ino: What was that?

Kakashi: Guy's, let's go! It's urgent!

And with that, Naruto and Sakura left. Gaara went downstairs to eat something, And Ino started to question Hinata.

Ino: So, Hinata, why did you pick Naruto?

Hinata: Because, uh, eh, b-b-because, uh...(faints)

Neji: Well, it seems that Hinata-sama is tired. (picks up Hinata) We'll go now.

And with those words, Neji left, and in the (remains) of Sakura's room, the two girls couldn't help but laugh and giggle the rest of the night. And so ends this Horrible tale. Good night, people of the world. Good night.

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